2014. Still A Week Left To Break Those Resolutions Before 2015

Hello,
Did you have a good year? Was it a very good year? Are you sad to see 2015 so sudden on the horizon? Ehhhh. Either way you can't stop time from keeping the present just out of reach. The future seems further away the older I get; It is the past which becomes more of me each year I sputter through. 2014 was a great year for Juicebox Thoughts. Not necessarily in a fiduciary sense, but 2014 was abundantly renumerative. Socially, sextually and soberly. The highlights? Our 1 year anniversary, T. Martin joining the team, the fact that CCGB? Studios posted something online almost every day for a year straight?
.  Juiceboxthoughts.com is the website address now, So in good faith we shall endeavor 2 return more than 2014's surplus to you, our neighbors in our community. Are there any bums reading this note out there? It's Dollar bills Im giving when you ask for change next year, no more pennies or black dimes. (Well maybe just the first half of the year). And this offer goes for the downtown cray cray ladies, who somehow seem old but I just know are younger than me. So I got the bums and the cray crays...
Who u got?

Merry Christmas!!!

Actual Text of Statement Given 2 Trooper D. Gurule #3311 Colorado State patrol

Sleeping. A minute or two at a time. Mark. This guy hit somebody. Awake. Coat on. front door out. A silver hatchback is parked blocking our driveway. Drivers Door
 opens. a man with dark hair gets out. Italian maybe. Takes three steps. Sees me. And at once without any acknowledgement beyond eyes meeting he is back in the car. And it's all you can do to stare at the rectangle of pressed aluminum. it's white characters on green. 638 UAR 638 UAR. And then his car is gone again but not before you glimpse the passenger side front quarter panel. If what's left of it. Man he did a real smack. And then Still in Costco house shoes You  listen to the scrape of his tires drive away and walk the outer line of the front fence along the line of cars parked in front of your house and up the front door of your rather dory sort of spry 84 year old neighbor. As you reach her front door. You see it is open and  only the glass screen door is shut. Think about rapping but reach for the doorbell instead. And there she is. Hi you say. A guy hit one of your cars out front. Four cars parked out from two silver two redfish.   We'll find in she says. You apologize for the house shoes a dad don't ax you step inside you realizd how close to Christmas it really is. He'd entire house. Solved abs red. Four wine. Sitting around The dining tilm table. Someone's car has been Hit 84 says. The  murmurs at the table soon turn into realization. And questions. Which car?  I don't know. He left. I just came here straightaway with the license plate. You realize you've been saying it aloud this whole time. 638 UAR. And now you and 5 bible studiers walk back outside.   It's the first car. A white silver one. Joy for not much damage but Enough to pray over.  

I Had A Great Saturday! Thx 2 Stoney's Pub, #DenverUrbanAvengers, and Chris & Andrea from ADRE Productions!

     Why don't ipads have Tab buttons? Because Steve Jobs preferred Diet-Rite!

Ok go easy on me I just made that one up and it's Tuesday afternoon as I write this so I am late late late in getting a post out. I know whose fault it is too. Google Plus. Well, a little birdie told me that Google Neutral might be getting ready to say 'Goodbye Google Plus...'  So we have that to look forward to... The Sunsetting of Google Plus. Wow. Maybe I just made that one up too? 

So, I  just have a few links for y'all to checkout- 

These are all connected with the #DenverUrbanAvengers race I helped out with on Saturday. We Raised money to #Eff CF (fight cystic fibrosis) I just think saying or shouting Eff CF! is so much more declarative against this deadly disease. Also I refuse to capitalize cystic fibrosis. Do either of these things really help? Maybe not, but clicking on cystic fibrosis Foundation's Colorado Chapter Donation Page. and chopping them off will definitely help. 

Next up is Colorado Music Buzz. This print/online magazine is the Bible for all things Music

In the Rocky Mountain West. From the heads of Record Labels to the Twisters of Knobs, there is something music for everyone inside their pages. Chris Murphy runs the show over there and I had the pleasure of working with him on Saturday. Just an all around great guy to have in your corner.

And Check this out local bands! Chris told me that Colorado Music Buzz is offering local bands a 1/4 page ad in the mag for  just $35. That is what I call a great opportunity to get some eyeballs on your Pieholes for cheap! I'm buying one for Tung & Gruv fa sho!
If you want to that 1/4 page ad for $35, email Chris Murphy and tell him Thank You 4 doing his part to help your band.
Ok here's a couple pix from the race
One of me?
M

Fwd: 1⃣2⃣3⃣4⃣5⃣6⃣, You are Hot!

So a friend of mine received this actual email from okcupid a few weeks back. Apparently okcupid thought he was an ugly dude. Why do I say that? Well if you read the email it implies that he was only being shown unattractive people as potential partners. That is until the users of okcupid, the female users rose up and declared my friend as one of  'the most attractive people on OkCupid'. The worst Sentence in the email from OkCupid? Is highlighted in blue. 'You'll now see more attractive people in your match results.'
Wow.... I really wish I could post a picture so you could see what my buddy 1⃣2⃣3⃣4⃣5⃣6⃣ looks like. But I promised. So people! Be wary of online dating services. It appears OkCupid is unscrupulous at best in dealing with matchmaking.
Enjoy the email!

From: OkCupid!   

Date: September 20, 2014 at 7:27:28 PM MDT

To: 1⃣2⃣3⃣4⃣5⃣6⃣@gmail.com
Subject: 1⃣2⃣3⃣4⃣5⃣6⃣, You are Hot!

Hey 1⃣2⃣3⃣4⃣5⃣6⃣, We just detected that you're now among the most attractive people on OkCupid. We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch. Did you get a new haircut or something? Well, it's working! To celebrate, we've adjusted your OkCupid experience: You'll now see more attractive people in your match results. This won't affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But we'll recommend more attractive people to you. You'll also appear more often to other attractive people. Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don't let this go to your head. OkCupid © 2014 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 555 W 18th St, New York, NY 10011 Unsubscribe

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TinyMeetBig: Examining the Minutiae & the Massive.

Ok just did a 'Reno' rebranding/revamping over at
Our tired out tumblr
TinyMeetBig is the Tag 2 sho nuff swag!
TinyMeetBig is the alkaline Al Kaline!
Send some Sugar-cubes if you think it sucks...
So Bookmark
The All New TinyMeetBig Tumblr!

So Buster's A Top Right? Right? His name is Buster! Finally We'll Find Out Because...Dave & Buster's™ is Going Public. You're Invited.

When was the last time you spent some of your time with Dave & Buster? Or some of YOUR money? How about the last time you willingly, and not for some corporate team building event, the last time you willingly went to spend either your Time or your Money at Dave & Buster's™? Really? Wait. Was that with someone younger than 16? That doesn't count. What's wrong with you? Don't you like to Eat, Drink, Play and Watch™? Why aren't you more awestruck you have Dave & Buster's™ nearby? Would it kill you to stop in for lunch just once of your own volition? Sans Coupon? What is a place so fantastically Fun Filled forced to do?
     Well two years ago D & B's™ moved to manufacture a massive meshuggeneh modernization. A robust physical remodeling of each bar and restaurant. From the form and fashion of all the lighting fixtures to the fixed type font on the matchbooks and menus. New food! New attitude! Some Sizzle? Also a rigorous Rebranding. No a renaissance. A raucous rebuke of their Boring 'Big Box' birthright. Dave & Buster's™ revamp revealed D&B's™ to be a bona fide nightspot! A de facto destination for city scenesters and social media sycophants. Tweet @DaveAndBusters with #D&B Please! Sophisticated, Smooth and Suave, and Sportsier! Sportsier? (The remods included adding a sports bar to some locations.) In my mind it all worked. Dave was now hip & Buster became edgy. Indeed, D&B's™ was suddenly the coolest, hippest, edgiest place in town...to play skeeball with your nieces on a Tuesday.
     But hey you, you too rational, utterly unable to have real unironic fun. You fuddy duddy. Dave & Buster's™ has proposed a new scheme to get you to spend your money with them. And you don't even have to come in for lunch! Ok. I will let the right honorable Steve King take over from here. Please give him your utmost attention and I'll be back after he says his piece. 

From: "Dave & Buster's Rewards" <email@daveandbustersemail.com>
Date: September 29, 2014 at 3:47:58 PM MDT
To: <product626_98@yah
Subject: Dave & Buster's is Going Public. You're Invited.
Reply-To: "Dave & Buster's Rewards" <reply-fe671673706506787116-921271_HTML-500423518-81323-65@daveandbustersemail.com>

View in browser WHAT'S NEW FIND PROMOS PLAN YOUR EVENT FIND A LOCATION To Rewards Members, Dave & Buster's is going public. Our mission is to be the best and most fun place in the world for you, your friends and your family to Eat, Drink, Play and Watch. We realize that you - our Rewards Members - have played a major part in our past success, and now we would like to give you the opportunity to own a part of our future. It is in this spirit that we are providing you access to our IPO stock at the same price, and at the same time, as Wall Street. At our request, the underwriters have reserved 2.5% of the common stock to be sold by Dave & Buster's in the IPO, to be offered through LOYAL3, at the initial public offering price. The LOYAL3 Social IPO Platform™ is designed to democratize IPO participation, making it easy for large numbers of people to purchase shares in our IPO at the same price, and at the same time, as institutions and other large investors. There are limited shares available through the LOYAL3 Platform. LOYAL3 Platform participation is on a first-come, first-served basis. Individuals can elect to purchase shares in our IPO through LOYAL3 in amounts ranging from $100-$2,500, with no transaction fees. Should you choose to forward this email, you must do so without changes, in precisely this form (only by email, so hyperlink to the prospectus is active, and only to US residents). For more information, or to view a preliminary prospectus and to enroll, click: Dave & Buster's IPO through the LOYAL3 Platform. One of our core values has always been that "everybody is somebody," that each person matters. If it were not for you, our Rewards Members, we would not be the success we are today, and not a day goes by when we don't appreciate that. Thank you, Steve King CEO Dave & Buster's Questions and want to speak to someone from LOYAL3? Email: support@loyal3.com Phone: 855-256-9253 Web: www.loyal3.com Dave & Buster's Entertainment, Inc., (the "Company") has filed a registration statement (including a preliminary prospectus) with the SEC for the offering to which this communication relates. Before you invest, you should read the prospectus in that registration statement and other documents the Company has filed with the SEC for more complete information about the Company and this offering. You may get these documents for free by visiting EDGAR on the SEC web site at www.sec.gov. Alternatively, a copy of the preliminary prospectus may be obtained by visiting ipo.loyal3.com/daveandbusters or by requesting a copy from LOYAL3 Securities, Inc. by calling toll-free 1-855-256-9253 or emailing support@loyal3.com. U.S. residents only. LOYAL3 Securities, Inc., a US-registered broker-dealer, is acting as a co-manager in the Dave & Buster's IPO. Dave & Buster's Rewards 2481 Manana Dr., Dallas, TX 75220 Manage Subscription    Unsubscribe    Privacy Policy

     Yes, now you too can own Dave. Or Buster. Now you can own more than just a D&B emblazoned plastic powercard used to play video games. Which technically you never really owned before. (Powercards are the sole possession of Dave & Buster's™ and must be surrendered at the request...) Now you can use that powercard to purchase credits! To play video games with... 

     Yeah I'm really not trying to slag Dave & Buster's™. I love Dave &... Ok ok I can't lie so laconically. But I wouldn't write an entire epistle just to influence a favorable fiduciary outcome for me and my financial flunkies. That wouldn't be fair would it? For me to talk down a company, in an attempt to ensure an artificially low opening price so I would benefit? Nope. Not fair. So believe me that I believe everything I wrote about Dave &/or Buster. AND I'm going to invest. How much? Much more than the minimum $100 yes but lots less than the maximum $2500. So buy! 

Buy! 

Buy!!!

Buy Buy Birdie!!!,,!,,!,,!

Sometimes It Snows In April.

It is April in Minneapolis. The sun is shining without a cloud in the sky. The temperature is 5 degrees fahrenheit. It is freezing. Its like the sun has reversed its natural function and is now sucking the heat from the earth instead of providing it. Its bright out. All the brighter to see your breath as it leaves your mouth and lungs and instantly frosts in the frigid air. Please Lord, you say, get me the heck out of Minnesota in April!  I cant even begin to imagine what January is like here!

And now please enjoy our Minneapolis Royalty Hisself's song 'Sometimes It Snows In April'.

Quiz no man who is not yo man.

Did you really have the nerve to ask me Who and How For? 

Ok, here is your answer(s). 

Nunya. 

None. uh. ya. business. 

No really. How indeed! How is it even remotely tangential to your oeuvre to know WHO and HOW FOR?

     And what is 'how for?' even asking? I understand 'why come?' as an almost type of question, but your u-turn of a phrase 'how for?' gets my semiotics engine baffling. We'll have to come back to the latter half of your query later.  

    So instead let's push your 'Who' question of a premise a little further down the road. What if 'Who' is a someone you know? Does that create a mandate for snooping, simply because you are aware of their existence? OR, because of your mutual other awareness, do you now both share a bond in an expectation of privacy? It is almost exclusively a human quality, our fundamental choice whether or not we reveal any part of ourselves to one another, or many others. 

With me so far? 

No? 

Well too bad. Because now we have to ask; What if 'Who' is NOT someone that you know? Is their expectation of privacy with you, the unknown individual, diminished by a lack of personal familiarity? No, it is not. I posit that one's expectation of privacy from those they don't know is much stronger than with people they know. 

Why does your paltry 'want to know' complex tend to eclipse any sense of or respect for, a basic human decency? Could it be caused by modern society's over heightened appraisal of TMI in this modern age? Is it a matter of your own proprietary security? Or maybe it's just your big nose? Your big nose not belonging wherever you goes and sticks it?

You'll have to answer those last few Bon Mots on your own time...

Now it is time for your answer(s). 

The answer to Who is...

NUNYA!

And the answer to 'how for?' 

 Cuz 2+2. 

That's how for. 

I Used 2 Loooooove The Strokes!

     No really. From 2001 until about 2007 I loved The Strokes unflinchingly. I Loved their albums. Loved their tones. Loved their hair and I Loved their attitude, or lack thereof. I loved their name. But Now? I'd like to blame their most recent, and perhaps final album, for my sense of unease bordering on Motherfucking Fear whenever I hear their name. Said album, 2013's comically and yet exactly aptly titled '80’s Comedown Machine' is not a great or even very good album, but it's also not the disaster most critics declared it to be. I like track 2 'All the Time' and the whole thing is barely 40 minutes long, which brings to mind the old aphorism oft repeated about Colorado weather and almost all Punk Rock songs. If you don't like the rain or that grating bass line?... just wait a minute. Things will change quickly.
     Ouch.
     So my closest male elder relative had a bad Monday last week. No make that a terribly bad Monday. He Suffered A... Hold on, He Endured? Or Had? Was attacked? No. He Was Stroked. He Maintained a Stroke? None of it sounds right because I'm still me and he is still mentally he, but this Stroke is our new normal. Our Monolith. But our Monolith didn't suddenly appear way out by Jupiter. It is right beside us, worming its way inside us, an unwanted Big Fucking Deal. Our Stroke Monolith. Ten days in, can I now consider it a Stroke of luck that he survived and wasn't just struck out?
     His was/is an atypical stroke, one caused by a hemmorage in the brain rather than a clot. Imagine, one moment is spent sitting in an overstuffed easychair, relaxing in the lobby of a client's building. Another moment, not so distinct or identifiable as the next moment, but a later moment, part of his right leg decides that now is the time to take up Astral Projection. With the brained, unseeable aspect of his right leg having jumped ship, his physical leg may as well belong to the overstuffed easychair in which he sits. Because he cannot get up! And the leg is no longer responsive to the millions of increasingly frantic signals his brain is firing off.
    And so this Stroke is a '70’s Comedown Machine'.  And it too is comically exactly, aptly titled. For this is his 70th year on earth, and I would not attempt a more perfect definition for a stroke than 'Comedown Machine'. The last ten days have been sneaky subtle. They have been slow to differentiate themselves in our new normal. I can't discern any change in his condition from a week ago. The Doctors will not operate and I will not pray.
    Ouch.
    But this morning? My father, who is nothing like Darth Vader, this morning my father used the Force. And he used Apple iMessage. But mainly he used the Force.



     Yep. Six inches of movement became monumental. Six inches was more magnificent than the breadth of the mighty Mississippi.

The kicker.
     When I received this video iMessage I was lollygagging in bed, listening to music, pretending to be getting ready for the train ride to visit him at the hospital. It wasn't until after I watched the video twice that I realized what I had just seen. The immutable was muted. The leg had returned, even if just for a six inch visit.  It took me another twenty seconds to bestir myself and realize what the ipod was playing on shuffle. It was the title track to The Strokes 2013 album '80's Comedown Machine'. Fuck it. I gotta keep loving The Strokes.

You Did It Twice SILLzy!!

This is easy.
Third times a charm.


Now lets see you bloG.
   -xdopeshortyx-


ok im taking back the night.
how unfortunate of Justin Timberlake to co-opt an Anti-Rape slogan from
the 90's for a middlingly sexy come on song. And how very very unfortunate
of me to piss on both Justin and the popular slogan by abusing it here.
so lets just look at some art.

Striking huh?

Can anyone out there name the artist?

Me Not Drinking is A Bird Not Flying

This is just me talkin to me. So please take it for what it's worth. One ad click.

Happy (real) New Year's Day!!!

Happy New Year everybody!

     But wait you say,  today is January 4th! Aren't you either a little late or extremely premature in wishing us all a Happy New Year? Well actually, I'm not. Today January 4th, is really January 1st.

     Little known fact: Our 21st President, Chester A. Arthur, was the man pulling the strings in this calendrical hoo-ha. Upon President Garfield's death from assassination the morning of September 19 1881, President Arthur declared three national days of mourning. They were to take place September 20, 21 and 22. There was only one problem. Arthur didn't take the oath of office until the mourning period ended on the evening of the 22nd. His advisers explained that because of the three day lapse in succession, our new President was not Chester A. Arthur. Instead our President was Flopsom Mollie, a notch eared terrier who was previously the Garfield family pet! Garfield, strange old biddy that he was, declared in his will that if no oath of office was taken to succeed him within 72 hours of his passing, the presidency would pass to flatulent old Flopsom Mollie... Constitution be damned! 

     Neither Congress nor the Court could figure a way out of this mess, and it soon began to set in that our great country was now 'one nation under dog'. And so for three dark days our Capital was at a standstill, with some members of the Whig party threatening to support President Flopsom Mollie's legislative agenda, such as it was... Which really wasn't much. 

     But thank the Heavens for Arthur's good sense! The night of the 24th he made a pre-executive decision that changed history forever. He summoned all the newspaper editors to the White House and prepared an official telegram to go out to the rest of the press. The official transcript to this telegram has sadly been lost to history, but suffice it to say that when America woke up the morning of September 25th and read their morning papers everything had changed. Arthur had ordered them to change the date back three days to September 22nd. Reprinting every bit of news exactly the same as they had three days prior but with one important change. They would include a story about President Arthur taking the oath of office the night before, the evening of September 21st. Thus invalidating Garfield's cruel whim of a will and making sure a white man was once again our President of these United States. So you see, when I say today is actually January 1st...

Oh shit. 

Nevermind. 

Fucking math! 

Again! 

Goddammit!!!

See today is really January 7th because Arthur went back three days...

Oh fuck it! 

Happy New Year!

Thanksgiving or not, there's no avoiding a birthday...

Yep. A crocodile's tear away from spanning 5 decades on our planet. I think I have the math right on that one. Allons-y!

• Alors, Thanksgiving de cette année, je me tourne âgé de 39 ans. J'ai dû avouer ce fait en français, parce que j'ai peur de google. C'est vrai. C'est très très vrai.

Contents?

I've been asked to post new content. Instead I will pose a question about contents. How many juiceboxes contain actual juice?