5/23/2014
5/22/2014
I Used 2 Loooooove The Strokes!
No really. From 2001 until about 2007 I loved The Strokes unflinchingly. I Loved their albums. Loved their tones. Loved their hair and I Loved their attitude, or lack thereof. I loved their name. But Now? I'd like to blame their most recent, and perhaps final album, for my sense of unease bordering on Motherfucking Fear whenever I hear their name. Said album, 2013's comically and yet exactly aptly titled '80’s Comedown Machine' is not a great or even very good album, but it's also not the disaster most critics declared it to be. I like track 2 'All the Time' and the whole thing is barely 40 minutes long, which brings to mind the old aphorism oft repeated about Colorado weather and almost all Punk Rock songs. If you don't like the rain or that grating bass line?... just wait a minute. Things will change quickly.
Ouch.
So my closest male elder relative had a bad Monday last week. No make that a terribly bad Monday. He Suffered A... Hold on, He Endured? Or Had? Was attacked? No. He Was Stroked. He Maintained a Stroke? None of it sounds right because I'm still me and he is still mentally he, but this Stroke is our new normal. Our Monolith. But our Monolith didn't suddenly appear way out by Jupiter. It is right beside us, worming its way inside us, an unwanted Big Fucking Deal. Our Stroke Monolith. Ten days in, can I now consider it a Stroke of luck that he survived and wasn't just struck out?
His was/is an atypical stroke, one caused by a hemmorage in the brain rather than a clot. Imagine, one moment is spent sitting in an overstuffed easychair, relaxing in the lobby of a client's building. Another moment, not so distinct or identifiable as the next moment, but a later moment, part of his right leg decides that now is the time to take up Astral Projection. With the brained, unseeable aspect of his right leg having jumped ship, his physical leg may as well belong to the overstuffed easychair in which he sits. Because he cannot get up! And the leg is no longer responsive to the millions of increasingly frantic signals his brain is firing off.
And so this Stroke is a '70’s Comedown Machine'. And it too is comically exactly, aptly titled. For this is his 70th year on earth, and I would not attempt a more perfect definition for a stroke than 'Comedown Machine'. The last ten days have been sneaky subtle. They have been slow to differentiate themselves in our new normal. I can't discern any change in his condition from a week ago. The Doctors will not operate and I will not pray.
Ouch.
But this morning? My father, who is nothing like Darth Vader, this morning my father used the Force. And he used Apple iMessage. But mainly he used the Force.
Yep. Six inches of movement became monumental. Six inches was more magnificent than the breadth of the mighty Mississippi.
The kicker.
When I received this video iMessage I was lollygagging in bed, listening to music, pretending to be getting ready for the train ride to visit him at the hospital. It wasn't until after I watched the video twice that I realized what I had just seen. The immutable was muted. The leg had returned, even if just for a six inch visit. It took me another twenty seconds to bestir myself and realize what the ipod was playing on shuffle. It was the title track to The Strokes 2013 album '80's Comedown Machine'. Fuck it. I gotta keep loving The Strokes.
Ouch.
So my closest male elder relative had a bad Monday last week. No make that a terribly bad Monday. He Suffered A... Hold on, He Endured? Or Had? Was attacked? No. He Was Stroked. He Maintained a Stroke? None of it sounds right because I'm still me and he is still mentally he, but this Stroke is our new normal. Our Monolith. But our Monolith didn't suddenly appear way out by Jupiter. It is right beside us, worming its way inside us, an unwanted Big Fucking Deal. Our Stroke Monolith. Ten days in, can I now consider it a Stroke of luck that he survived and wasn't just struck out?
His was/is an atypical stroke, one caused by a hemmorage in the brain rather than a clot. Imagine, one moment is spent sitting in an overstuffed easychair, relaxing in the lobby of a client's building. Another moment, not so distinct or identifiable as the next moment, but a later moment, part of his right leg decides that now is the time to take up Astral Projection. With the brained, unseeable aspect of his right leg having jumped ship, his physical leg may as well belong to the overstuffed easychair in which he sits. Because he cannot get up! And the leg is no longer responsive to the millions of increasingly frantic signals his brain is firing off.
And so this Stroke is a '70’s Comedown Machine'. And it too is comically exactly, aptly titled. For this is his 70th year on earth, and I would not attempt a more perfect definition for a stroke than 'Comedown Machine'. The last ten days have been sneaky subtle. They have been slow to differentiate themselves in our new normal. I can't discern any change in his condition from a week ago. The Doctors will not operate and I will not pray.
Ouch.
But this morning? My father, who is nothing like Darth Vader, this morning my father used the Force. And he used Apple iMessage. But mainly he used the Force.
Yep. Six inches of movement became monumental. Six inches was more magnificent than the breadth of the mighty Mississippi.
The kicker.
When I received this video iMessage I was lollygagging in bed, listening to music, pretending to be getting ready for the train ride to visit him at the hospital. It wasn't until after I watched the video twice that I realized what I had just seen. The immutable was muted. The leg had returned, even if just for a six inch visit. It took me another twenty seconds to bestir myself and realize what the ipod was playing on shuffle. It was the title track to The Strokes 2013 album '80's Comedown Machine'. Fuck it. I gotta keep loving The Strokes.
5/10/2014
5/09/2014
5/01/2014
In Honor of Mayday, A Breakdown of How My 2013 U.S. Income Tax is Being Spent.
Just kidding,
Here's the real data...
You Did It Twice SILLzy!!
This is easy.
Third times a charm.
Now lets see you bloG.
-xdopeshortyx-
ok im taking back the night.
how unfortunate of Justin Timberlake to co-opt an Anti-Rape slogan from
the 90's for a middlingly sexy come on song. And how very very unfortunate
of me to piss on both Justin and the popular slogan by abusing it here.
so lets just look at some art.
Third times a charm.
Now lets see you bloG.
-xdopeshortyx-
ok im taking back the night.
how unfortunate of Justin Timberlake to co-opt an Anti-Rape slogan from
the 90's for a middlingly sexy come on song. And how very very unfortunate
of me to piss on both Justin and the popular slogan by abusing it here.
so lets just look at some art.
Striking huh?
Can anyone out there name the artist?
Tell Me Whats My Age Again?
This is for anyone..
It's up for grabs
It's got two lemons,
A harpoon &
A boondocks retreat;
A tried a true a travesty.
My first stupid, silly!!
"It's the same as your google, silly!"
4/29/2014
Aww Hell! A Mr. Dr. Video
Aw Hell!
If you were on fire I would not come
I would not walk jump skip or run
to you.
I would just let you burn and warm yourself inside. With us on the
outs still fine.
Selfie!
If you were drowning I would
go back in time and kill the
man who invented rope so there'd
be none for you.
That's what I'd do.
So please please do not
contact me.
Consider me beyond the grave and there's no psychics.
Actually consider me never to
have existed at all.
Not in your memories not
even in a blade of grass
that's been stepped on.
If you were on fire I would not come
I would not walk jump skip or run
to you.
I would just let you burn and warm yourself inside. With us on the
outs still fine.
Selfie!
If you were drowning I would
go back in time and kill the
man who invented rope so there'd
be none for you.
That's what I'd do.
So please please do not
contact me.
Consider me beyond the grave and there's no psychics.
Actually consider me never to
have existed at all.
Not in your memories not
even in a blade of grass
that's been stepped on.
4/23/2014
4/22/2014
Me Not Drinking is A Bird Not Flying
4/21/2014
4/15/2014
4/07/2014
4/05/2014
3/30/2014
L's & G's I am proud to present the very first video from our new YouTube channel Chica Chica Go Boom?™
Please enjoy our premiere selection...
So I hope this works. Anything from here on out is the company's fault. Chica Chica Go
Boom? begins officially Sunday March 30 2014. More will come. Ummm.... Say goodnight
Mazzyd626.
Goodnight.
So I hope this works. Anything from here on out is the company's fault. Chica Chica Go
Boom? begins officially Sunday March 30 2014. More will come. Ummm.... Say goodnight
Mazzyd626.
Goodnight.
3/29/2014
Google+ is Auto Awesome? Or: The Google plus plus pissed!
Ok so you hate google+. Well you don't hate it, you just don't use it very often. Like very often at all. More like, never at all. In fact, the only reason you have a google+ profile page is because google saddled your YouTube account with a linked google+ profile. A required google+ profile really. Bam! Just like that. 50 million more google+ profiles than there were the day before. Actually, it took a few months for google to flip all those Youtubers into nominal G-plussers too. But behold Wall Street, 50,000,000 new, verified, computer savvy, content providing, sharing, +1ing, social networking immigrants come to inhabit google+. 50 million goes a long ways towards making g+ More than just a weak FB done bitey style.
So you're saying to yourself, what do I care if I have a google+ profile? I'll never use it anyways...
Here's where the trouble starts. If your YouTube username was an alias, as countless millions were, your linked new google+ profile used a different name. Mainly your real life one. The name you may have provided google when they asked you to update your account info with your real identity in order to protect it. But that's not the half of it. A new YouTube channel is also created for you. With the same name as your brand new google+ profile. Why? Because google is auto-awesome?
So who are the plus plus pissed!?
Let's say there's a YouTube channel called 'titansibid' and you're a subscriber. But google knows John Tibidoe is the man who produces and films and uploads as 'titansibid' on YouTube. Google first creates a John Tibidoe google+ Profile page. It does this completely unsolicited by 'titansibid' of course. Next it creates the John Tibidoe YouTube channel. Mind you, all of this is being done inside the 'titansibid' account. So the John Tibidoe YouTube channel becomes the primary channel and public YouTube face for John instead of 'titansibid'. When poor John signs into YouTube with the titansibid account login he has used for years, he finds himself being asked if he wants to keep the 'titansibid' name or just change over to use his real name for all of google. Google of course, wants him to drop titansibid. But why? Just to prop up google +? What if John wants to keep the titansibid channel and use the name everyone knows him by? Easy. Simply create another google+ profile with the 'titansibid' name.
Confusing you I am? Imagine living through it. I'm still not sure why I have my real name on both sites since my gmail address reflects my original YouTube account/username. MazzyD626. But that's about to change. I'm cleaning up Google's mess. Sort of. But not right this second and maybe not even tomorrow either. But soon. Soon...
Google+ new 'Auto-Awesome' feature seen above.
(But only when viewed on google+)
A positive outcome of the plus plus pissed! morass...
In a desperate attempt to get people talking on google+, 'twas decided that YouTube comments on videos would be google+ comments. For awhile posters were given the choice whether to post the comments to google+ At all with the caveat that coming soon! One could not comment without a google+ profile. This change did produce some good in/for humanity in the digital age. YouTube comments used to be... Well, let's call them childish. I am not trying to insult children with this comparison. They were worse than childish. The problem? Anyone could create a username and post virtually anonymously anywhere on the entire YouTube website. The comments were ignorant, willfully and gleefully so. They were hateful, racist and mysoginistic. They were unintelligent, random, and dangerous too... Scammers and thieves proliferated, along with get rich quick schemes...links to viruses, even praise for 3 doors down could be found! if one comment out of ten was actually germane to the video that was a very very good ratio. If a thing could be misspelled, grammar free, hateful, offensive and try to rob you, it would be the quintessential YouTube comment of before. But By requiring a google plus profile to comment, people could not remain anons and most of the anons didn't have any desire to post with a public face. it is a 180° change for the better, most visibly by reducing the sheer number of new comments by tenfold. So kudos on that big G...But enough for one day about google plus. I'm fixing it.
3/27/2014
3/25/2014
This Little Birdy. A MISTERDOCTER concoction
3/22/2014
3/13/2014
3/12/2014
3/08/2014
Let's Go To Heaven I Know The Door Man Maybe We Can Get In
Someone posted "Back From Philly" by Freakboy #9 on youtube, so I figgered
I'd share.
Enjoy!
Crosswalk. Skip. Jump. by a little band called Product 626...
It is my pleasure to introduce you folks to yet another former band I was in. Product 626. if you like what you hear? Let me know. I'm about to start laying vocals on our unfinished album from yesteryear. kind of a time travel karaoke i guess...
just one more thing to do rather than drink.
God bless,
chica chica go boom?
3/03/2014
2/20/2014
How the West was Done
Broncos bucked up.
Rattled rangeless restless
For 24 days now.
Rattled rangeless restless
For 24 days now.
Cowboys gone awry.
Drunk in their sheets.
Shooting out windows
Instead of black hats.
Divining honor in
Hoop skirts.
Belching sarsaparilla
Soaked six shooters.
Go West young man?
No.
Sorry.
Invest young man.
Get blessed young man.
Get dressed young man.
Distressed ghost towns
Remain inflections
Calico ribboned echoes
of
Freedom's hyena laugh &
Liberty's lonesome howl.
No.
Sorry.
Invest young man.
Get blessed young man.
Get dressed young man.
Distressed ghost towns
Remain inflections
Calico ribboned echoes
of
Freedom's hyena laugh &
Liberty's lonesome howl.
2/19/2014
1/17/2014
1/11/2014
SomeB.ody wrote me a rote poem!
At least it was addressed to me... I just love the fact that someB.ody took time out of their hectic schedule. They pressed pause on life for a few minutes to inject invective into our internets.
A Lesson to be learned? SomeB.ody out there was thinking about ME! And as they always say, it's the thought that counts. So without any further editorializing-
Please Burn After Reading:
No. No. No. Let's do this sans spite.
Do Please Enjoy:
 |
| This photo was taken in downtown Denver on the 16th street mall. ©2013 |
1/08/2014
A Friend of Mine
Do you remember our 41st president George W. Bush? How about his evil Henchman/Overlord Dick Cheney? Whether or not these names ring your bell, you mos def will not learn anything about them from watching this video. Except perhaps how to make 9th and 11th chords sound good on electric guitar. So this is another Freakboy #9 song. Freakboy #9 was my quasi waspy funk band from last century. The music still resonates! Meaning one can still hear it... But lemme know what y'all think!
1/03/2014
Happy (real) New Year's Day!!!
Happy New Year everybody!
But wait you say, today is January 4th! Aren't you either a little late or extremely premature in wishing us all a Happy New Year? Well actually, I'm not. Today January 4th, is really January 1st.
Little known fact: Our 21st President, Chester A. Arthur, was the man pulling the strings in this calendrical hoo-ha. Upon President Garfield's death from assassination the morning of September 19 1881, President Arthur declared three national days of mourning. They were to take place September 20, 21 and 22. There was only one problem. Arthur didn't take the oath of office until the mourning period ended on the evening of the 22nd. His advisers explained that because of the three day lapse in succession, our new President was not Chester A. Arthur. Instead our President was Flopsom Mollie, a notch eared terrier who was previously the Garfield family pet! Garfield, strange old biddy that he was, declared in his will that if no oath of office was taken to succeed him within 72 hours of his passing, the presidency would pass to flatulent old Flopsom Mollie... Constitution be damned!
Neither Congress nor the Court could figure a way out of this mess, and it soon began to set in that our great country was now 'one nation under dog'. And so for three dark days our Capital was at a standstill, with some members of the Whig party threatening to support President Flopsom Mollie's legislative agenda, such as it was... Which really wasn't much.
But thank the Heavens for Arthur's good sense! The night of the 24th he made a pre-executive decision that changed history forever. He summoned all the newspaper editors to the White House and prepared an official telegram to go out to the rest of the press. The official transcript to this telegram has sadly been lost to history, but suffice it to say that when America woke up the morning of September 25th and read their morning papers everything had changed. Arthur had ordered them to change the date back three days to September 22nd. Reprinting every bit of news exactly the same as they had three days prior but with one important change. They would include a story about President Arthur taking the oath of office the night before, the evening of September 21st. Thus invalidating Garfield's cruel whim of a will and making sure a white man was once again our President of these United States. So you see, when I say today is actually January 1st...
Oh shit.
Nevermind.
Fucking math!
Again!
Goddammit!!!
See today is really January 7th because Arthur went back three days...
Oh fuck it!
Happy New Year!
12/30/2013
Dos Elefantes
Dos elefantes fugarse.
En paralelo.
En paralelo.
Caminan juntos
Hablan juntos.
Siempre lado a lado.
Uno es dueño de amor verdadero.
La única derrota.
Y todavía se
Caminar juntos ellos
Hablar juntos.
En paralelo.
En paralelo.
12/28/2013
A New Song+Video from MISTERDOCTER!
Ok, it's not a completely new song per se, but rather a repurpose sing. Close? It's a church revival! Just using old vocal tracks from Mark and an ex-gal pal, instead of a midweek service in a tent...
Oh never mind.... Just dig!
And Please enjoy:
Oh never mind.... Just dig!
And Please enjoy:
Or...
Find Jesus
(new window)
(new window)
12/07/2013
I think I've discovered a new holiday tradition...
(Do not click this link if under 21 or easily kerfuffled)
Merry Xmas Everyone!!!
A not so safe for work tradition tis true, but a fine tradition nonetheless...
12/06/2013
A song from my old band Freakboy #9
Pretend its 1997 again and click...
Back From Philly
Back From Philly
Freak Boy #9 was a funk-rock band which was formed in 1994 in Denver by yours truly, Paul Preusser and Sean Straus. Over the years there were changes in the horn lineup, drummer, and bassist.
Freak Boy eventually had enough material for a couple albums and released two demo tapes. They played all over the Colorado region, including the legendary Herman’s Hideaway, among many other venues.
The band finally went on to other projects in 1997, but the music is still here for you to listen to and enjoy.
11/12/2013
11/10/2013
Thanksgiving or not, there's no avoiding a birthday...
Yep. A crocodile's tear away from spanning 5 decades on our planet. I think I have the math right on that one. Allons-y!
- Alors, Thanksgiving de cette année, je me tourne âgé de 39 ans. J'ai dû avouer ce fait en français, parce que j'ai peur de google. C'est vrai. C'est très très vrai.
Contents?
I've been asked to post new content. Instead I will pose a question about contents. How many juiceboxes contain actual juice?
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